Field Learning NLP Training

Give yourself a good talking to

John and Samantha Field — Thu, 03 May 2012 18:14:12 +0000

Some NLP techniques are unbelievably simple and straightforward. In fact it’s the simplicity of NLP that many people find so attractive. Here’s one such concept that anyone can use to create a better experience of life.

We all have self-talk. Some of it very negative. Have you found yourself saying to yourself something like:

“I can’t do that”
“I know I’m going to screw it up”
“I don’t deserve this”
“Who do you think you are?”

The things we say to ourselves are often expressions of inner beliefs or self-limiting behaviours. They can also be like a recording of something we’ve heard someone else say to us; perhaps a parent or teacher. In the moment this inner dialogue can feel very real and has the effect of limiting our choices and/or shattering our confidence. It can catch us out, just at the wrong moment, and be a trigger for anxiety and panic.

There is a value to this type of self-talk. It can stop us being too confident, arrogant or simply reckless. However it can also be disabling and unhelpful. Often we speak to people who we know are very capable and the only thing holding them back is a lack of self-belief that is expressed through a negative internal dialogue. For example we’ve worked with many people that have an excellent track record of presenting confidently but sometimes this inner voice catches them out. They’ve learned to avoid it by avoiding presenting, despite the fact they have had plenty of experience of presenting well. Interviews, first dates, difficult conversations and many other scenario’s, where the person can’t have complete control of the situation, are all potential situations where their ‘voice of doom’ can hold people back.

This can be very simple to deal with and can be handled in minutes. Within NLP there is the concept of submodalities. Simply put, we represent experiences in our minds and how we represent these experiences effects how we relate to them. Our minds are incredibly flexible and we have much more choice over how we code these inner representations than most people realise. By simply changing how we represent our inner world we can change our state of mind and give ourselves much more choice in our behaviour. Dealing with negative self-talk is a straightforward example of this kind of change in action.

Move it

The first option is to move it. Firstly tune in to where the voice is coming from. Often there is sense that it comes from just behind you on one side or the other but it could come from anywhere. Try moving it and notice how you relationship to the voice changes as you move it’s apparent location.

Change it

Notice that we haven’t suggested changing what the voices say. We’ve left the words as they are. This is deliberate as changing the words can often result in a less effective change. NLP can be thought of as creating more choice in the way we respond to both internal and external influences. It’s not about changing the influence but changing the meaning we make of it.

Some ways to change a negative voice (other than moving it):

Speed it up
Slow it down
Lower or raise the tone
Add background music

It’s remarkable how flexible our minds can be and how quickly you can make a change sometimes. This I also a simple example of just how straightforward an NLP approach can be and how easy it is to add greater choices in our lives. And of course you still have the choice to keep the negative voice as it was originally – but then again you now know you can respond to it just how you want to.

To create more choice in your life you might like to take a look at our popular NLP Diploma programme. A 4-day residential course in the inspiring Cotswolds exploring how your mind works with a great bunch of friendly people – what does your inner voice say about that?

If you liked this post you might like:

Find out more about giving yourself a good talking to on our NLP Diploma programme.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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VIDEO: The happy secret to better work

John and Samantha Field — Wed, 02 May 2012 08:32:39 +0000

Shawn Achor presents this humorous TED video and reminds us that your state of mind fundamentally determines your level of success in life and how you perceive the world around you.

NLP is often referred to as the toolkit for Emotional Intelligence and Positive Psychology, and we would certainly agree with that. NLP offers a range of practical tools and concepts for learning about how your mind works, creating greater behaviourial choice and simply creating more in your life. This video is great reminder of why we enjoy teaching NLP and the very pragmatic and immediate benefits it can offer.

To find out more about NLP and how it can make a difference to your life you might like to start with our 4-day residential NLP Diploma in The Cotswolds, UK.

If you liked this post you might like:

Find out more about learning from the success of others on our NLP Diploma programme.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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The Hero’s Journey, a summary by Robert Dilts

John and Samantha Field — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 17:06:40 +0000

The Hero's Journey and The Creative Self with Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan, 17-20 January 2013

In his book Hero With a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell talks about the three life paths that we can take: the village, the wasteland and the journey. The village represents the life that has been mapped out for us by our society and culture: We are born, go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have children, work until we retire, get a gold watch and finally we die. This path has a lot of security and safety, and doesn’t disrupt the norm or “rock the boat” very much. We do as we are expected. It is essentially the path of the ego. For many people, this is a satisfactory way to live their lives.

For others it is not so simple. For some reason, either they do not fit in (because they are the wrong color, gender, shape, sexual preference, etc.) or they feel called to something more. The village to them is, in Thoreau’s words, “a life of quiet desperation.” Rather than thrive in the village, they feel caged, suffocated or repressed. For these people, according to Campbell, there are two other possible paths.

The wasteland represents the path of the rebel, outlaw or outcast. It is a life on the fringe of society, one’s family, one’s career, etc.; beyond the edge of what is considered appropriate and normal. It is an attempt to flourish by rejecting and escaping the village (into sex, drugs, rock n’roll, etc.). While it is an attempt to find a context in which to thrive, it usually produces the opposite. It may ultimately end in something like addiction to alcohol or drugs, perhaps some kind of “criminal” activity, or maybe just a type of life of isolation or dereliction.

The other path is that of the journey. On the journey, we follow our hearts, vision and calling to find our own way and discover something new. This is the path of all great leaders, entrepreneurs and pioneers. Through the challenges and discoveries along the path we acquire courage, insight, wisdom, resiliency and greater awareness of ourselves and the world. When we return to the village we are able to make our own unique contribution to others and become recognized and acknowledged for who we really are. The journey is not always an external one. Sometimes we travel internally even as we stay within the physical context of the village. As a result of our growth, we bring new ideas and new life to the village, making it possible for more to thrive there. We may even find it possible to bring healing and transformation to the wasteland.

In the words of Apple Inc. founder and CEO Steve Jobs:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. . .

You’ve got to find what you love…The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.

The Hero’s Journey is about taking this third path; the journey to find how to thrive by developing the skills to discover and travel your own path and live your own life as the best version of yourself.

The Phases of the Hero’s Journey

Managing the process of personal growth and meaningful life change can be likened to what Joseph Campbell called the “Hero’s Journey” (The Hero With A Thousand Faces, 1949). Campbell searched for the connections in the myths and stories of change that go across cultural boundaries. He examined stories of heroes, historical and mythical, spanning all ages, cultures, religions and genders.

Campbell discovered that certain themes are repeated in many cultures and appear to be deeper threads connecting all of humanity, reflecting the overall path that we take from birth to death regardless of our individual circumstances. Just as we are born the same and die the same, there are other deep patterns held in the collective memory of our species.

Campbell described the commonalities of our overall life paths in terms of the steps of the “Hero’s Journey”—the sequence of events that seem to be shared in the epic myths and stories of every culture. Campbell’s notion of the hero’s journey provides a powerful road map for dealing with the challenges of change, especially change at the identity level.

According to Campbell, the fundamental steps of the hero’s journey include:

1. Hearing a calling (a “call to action” or “call to adventure”) that relates to our identity, life purpose or mission. These callings can come in many forms and frequently represent transition points in our lives. Becoming a parent, changing jobs, recovering from a serious illness, producing a creative work, entering a new stage of life, etc., all represent different types of callings. Such callings generally arise as a result of life’s changing circumstances and are typically quite challenging (otherwise it would not need to be a “hero’s” journey). They typically involve an expansion or evolution of our identities.

It is evident that callings come from the various fields surrounding us and they frequently have a deep archetypal character. Developing the skills of field awareness and opening to the Generative Field is key in being able to clearly receive and be guided by one’s calling.

2. Committing to the calling leads us to confront a boundary or threshold in our existing abilities or map of the world. We can choose to either accept or try to ignore the calling. Attempting to refuse or disregard the calling, however, frequently leads to the formation or intensification of problems or symptoms in our lives, precipitating crises that we cannot ignore.

Committing to a calling involves being able to receive it into your center and maintain a felt sense of connection to both yourself and the larger field around you.

3. Crossing the threshold propels us into some new heretofore unknown life “territory” outside of our current comfort zone; a territory that forces us to grow and evolve, and requires us to find support and guidance. According to Campbell, this threshold is generally a “point of no return,” meaning that, once we are across it, we cannot go back to the way things used to be. We must move forward into the unknown.

In addition to centering and opening to the field, crossing the threshold requires sponsorship; both of our potential to be heroes and of the fears and hesitancies that arise as we face the threshold.

4. Finding guardians, mentors or sponsors is something that often comes naturally from having the courage to cross a threshold. (As it has been said, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”) “Guardians” are the key relationships we develop that support us to build skills, believe in ourselves and stay focused on our objectives. Although a hero’s journey is a very personal journey, it is not something that we can do alone. We need to be open and willing to receive support.

Finding guardians also requires that we stay centered and remain open to the field. Because the territory beyond the threshold is new for us, we cannot necessarily know what type of guardianship we will need ahead of time or who those guardians will be. Sometimes guardians will come from surprising places. Thus, we must stay open and available to receiving guidance and support at every step on our journey.

5. Facing a challenge (or “demon”) is also a natural result of crossing a threshold. A demon is generally something that appears to oppose, tempt or negate us as heroes. “Demons,” however, are not necessarily evil or bad; they are simply a type of “energy” that we need to learn to contend with, accept and redirect. Often, demons are simply a reflection of one of our own inner fears and shadows (parts of ourselves that we are disconnected from and try to suppress, avoid or deny). It is here that we confront “negative sponsorship”—messages, coming from either inside of us or from significant others, that imply, “You should not be here,” “You do not deserve to exist,” “You are incapable,” “You will never be good enough,” “You are unwelcome,” etc.

Clearly, facing demons and shadows requires the resources of centering, sponsorship and connection to the larger Field.

6. Developing new resources is necessary in order to deal with uncertainty and transform the “demon.” A hero’s journey is ultimately a path of learning and self-evolution. The resources that help us to cross the threshold into new territory and transform the demon are the beliefs, capabilities, behavioral skills and tools we are able to put into action in order to deal with complexity, uncertainty and resistance. This is the area where we ourselves must grow in order to develop the flexibility and increased competence necessary to successfully navigate new territory (internal and external) and overcome the obstacles that arise along the way.

The resources necessary to successfully complete a hero’s journey include increased self-awareness, the ability to access, integrate and balance key “archetypal energies”—such as strength, softness and playfulness— and ultimately lead to an evolution of our consciousness. This evolution involves an expansion of ourselves in a way that includes yet transcends all of the previous dimensions of our being.

7. Completing the task for which we have been called, and finding the way to fulfill the calling is ultimately achieved by creating a new map of the world that incorporates the growth and discoveries brought about by the journey.

8. Returning home as a transformed person, and sharing with others the knowledge and experience gained as a result of the journey. It is also important that you be seen and acknowledged as your new identity. This is necessary in order to complete the cycle of personal transformation.

Sometimes the return home is also a very challenging part of the journey. In fact, according to Campbell there are frequently obstacles and sometimes a refusal to the return as well; which often involves crossing another type of threshold. The remarkable journey and transformation that has occurred can make it difficult to reintegrate with life and key relationships as they used to be. There can be a fear on our own part of getting stuck in our own previous “mundane” existence. And there can be desire on the part of significant others for us to stay as we were before so that they don’t have to change in response to our movement and growth. Our return can disrupt the status quo.

There is also a natural vulnerability that accompanies transitions of any type that can bring up difficult feelings and shadows. Remaining connected with our guardians and staying rooted in the new resources that we have gained on our journey are key to the success of the return home.

Summary

While the hero’s journey is clearly a metaphor, it captures a good deal of the reality facing people as they seek to build a path to a successful future and contend with the uncertainties of change. The notion of a “calling,” for instance, clearly symbolizes the vision and mission that the client, team or organization is pursuing.

The “threshold” represents the new territory, and unknown and uncertain elements that a person must confront in order to put the vision and mission into action. To achieve transformation and awakening, our mental maps of who we are and what is possible in the world must become broader, and we must perceive old limitations in a completely new way. This requires that we break through our old mindset and “get outside of the box,” learning at the level of what anthropologist Gregory Bateson called Learning IV—the creation of something “completely new.” When this happens, there is a breakdown of current structure that is in place and has become overly rigid. This breakdown or breakthrough occurs when we cross the threshold. It frequently causes a regression to a more primitive and unstructured state which brings us into more direct contact with both our shadows and also and our “superposition” (the full range of potential that we have as an individual). Our superposition will contain resources that have not previously been recognized or utilized. If we are able to stay centered in ourselves and connected to a larger field of awareness that holds all of these expressions, we can achieve a generative state of expansion and reorganization. Such a generative state both “transcends and includes” our previous knowledge and awareness, and is a key part of the Hero’s Journey.

The symbol of the “demon” reflects the challenges of upheaval, competition, internal politics and other obstacles and crises that emerge from circumstances beyond our control. As pointed our earlier, what makes these external circumstances and challenges become “demons” is that they catalyze our own inner fears and shadows; the difficult feelings and parts of ourselves that we do not know how to welcome, hole and integrate. It is here that we confront “negative sponsorship”—messages, coming from either inside of us or from significant others, that imply, “You should not be here,” “You do not deserve to exist,” “You are incapable,” “You will never be good enough,” “You are unwelcome,” etc. The demon is transformed by facing and coming to terms with our own inner shadows.

The resources that help us to cross the threshold into new territory and transform our demons and shadows are the values, behavioral skills and business practices we are able to put into action in order to deal with complexity, uncertainty and resistance. This is the area where we ourselves must grow in order to develop the flexibility and increased requisite variety necessary to successfully navigate the new territory and overcome the obstacles that arise along the way.

“Guardians” are the sponsors and relationships we develop that support us to build skills, believe in ourselves and stay focused on our objectives.

It is sometimes tempting for coaches to think that the client is the victim and the coach is the “hero” who will slay the client’s demon with his or her wonderful coaching techniques. It is important to keep in mind, however, that the client is the hero and the coach is the guardian. Our job as coaches and sponsors is to help the client recognize his or her own hero’s journey and support him or her on that journey.

References and Recommended Readings

The Hero With A Thousand Faces, Campbell, J., Fontana Press., London, UK, 1993.
Le Héros aux mille et un visages, Campbell, J., Edtions Oxus, Paris, France, 2010.
The Hero’s Journey: A Voyage of Self-Discovery, Gilligan, S. and Dilts, R., Crowne House Publishers, London, 2009.
Le Voyage du Héros, Gilligan, S. and Dilts, R., Dunod, Paris, France, 2011.
The Power of Myth, Campbell, J., Doubleday & Company, Inc., Garden City, NY, 1988.
The Hero Within, Pearson, C., Harper Collins, San Francisco, CA, 1986.
Les Héros Intérior, Pearson, C., Les Editions de Montagne, Boucherville, Quebec, Canada, 1992.
Awakening The Heroes Within, Pearson, C., Harper Collins, San Francisco, CA, 1991.
Psyche and Symbol, Jung, C. G., Princeton University Press, Princeton, NJ, 1991.
NLP II: The Next Generation, Dilts, R. and DeLozier, J. with Bacon Dilts, D., Meta Publications, Capitola, CA, 2010.
From Coach to Awakener, Dilts, R., Meta Publications, Capitola, CA, 2003.

Join us in The Cotswolds for ‘The Hero’s Journey and The Creative Self‘ with Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan on the 17-20 January 2013.

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Transition Part 4: Knowing where you are going

John and Samantha Field — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 18:11:20 +0000

In this final part of this 4-part series of posts we look at the problem of focussing on the past when trying to transition to the future. We have previously looked at values and beliefs, procrastination and the false perception of limited choice. In this post we’ll look at ways of developing a future-orientated outcome and path to that future.

The very early developers of NLP focused on finding out why some people were more successful than others. It became clear that a key difference was the way successful people think about their goals and the outcomes they wanted to achieve in their lives. This evolved in to a concept called ‘Well-Formed Outcomes’ and recognised that some people had an ability to create goals that were innately compelling and self-motivating. This is of course critical to any life transition and we suggest that if you don’t know where you want to get to then you definitely won’t get there. This is a way of thinking that you will find invaluable when considering any change or transition.

Many people tend to focus on what they don’t want rather than what they want to happen. This is for two simple reasons:

1 – They tend to focus on what they don’t want and consequently keep getting it so that is where their focus remains.

2 – They don’t have a compelling enough alternative to what they already have.

The first step in transition is to work out what you want to have, i.e., what you want to move towards, rather than what you want to move away from. As soon as you focus on that your unconscious mind starts to focus in a different way. It starts to move you towards the desired future and notice the many ways that you could move steadily towards the new you.

To understand the concept of the Well-Formed Outcome it’s worth trying it out in practice. Think about an outcome you want in the future and ask yourself the following questions:

What do you want? (Stated in the Positive)

If what you want is stated in the negative, e.g. “I want to be less terrified when presenting”, then ask the supplementary question, “What would that be like?” to get to a positive statement. e.g. “I would enjoy presenting confidently.” So now your goal might become, “I want to be an increasingly confident presenter, able to communicate effectively to my team and clients”. That’s a little more motivating isn’t it?

Can you start and maintain it?

If what you want is for someone else to change, for example, “I want my partner to appreciate me more”, progress depends on the other person. In this case, to make the want your own, it could be expressed something like: “I want to communicate better with my partner so we have a better understanding of how to appreciate each other”. Remember that the only thing we can really change is ourselves but we can influence others through the changes we make. Make sure your outcome is under your control and make sure it’s actually yours.

How will you know that you have it?

Eddie Izzard in a recent BBC profile recalled after a particular early experience of a public failure that:

“You’ve got to believe you can be a stand-up before you can be a stand-up. You have to believe you can act before you can be an actor. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe. You’ve got to imagine yourself in that situation.”

Eddie Izzard is a fine example of someone who overcame many obstacles to become the success he is today by keeping the image and future experience of that future success in his mind. It is what successful people do and it is what keeps successful people on track and motivated.

So what will be life be like when you have achieved your goal? What will you be seeing when you’ve got it? What will you be hearing when you’ve got it? What will I hear you saying when you’ve got it? What will you be feeling when you’ve got it?

If you can really see, hear and feel the outcome inside yourself, it starts to become more real.

When, where and with whom do you want it?

You might not want your outcome in every context. For example you might want to be more assertive but not all the time otherwise that might rub some people up the wrong way. Be clear about when and where you want something so you can be sure that you will have your outcome when most appropriate.

Is it worth the cost to you?

When you set your outcome, check that it relates to your current sense of self or the person you want to become. The closer it relates to your identity and sense of purpose, the more the outcome will attract you and motivate you. It’s not all about time and money. Make sure it fits not just what you are capable of but what you want to become.

What might I lose if I achieve my outcome or what do I get out of my present behaviour that I want to preserve?

One of the major reasons we often do not get what we want is that we fear the loss of what we already have. Where we are now is something that feels comfortable and familiar to us even if it gets in the way of our long-term goals. It is known and understood. Changing things can present uncertainties that we can feel less comfortable with. What do you want to keep whilst still reaching your long-term goal? For more on the reasons why we often get in our own way when trying to make a change see the post: Breaking habits, keeping the benefits.

For more on the concept of Well-Formed Outcomes see the next post: What’s more important, the Goal or How you Get There?

If you find that you have repeated unwanted behaviour or habits that get in the way of transition you might find the following post helpful: Breaking habits, keeping the benefits.

And if you’re finding yourself really stuck then you might want to take a look at ‘How people really change‘.

That’s it for this series on transition. We hope you’ve found it useful. For the other parts of the series see:

Find out more about making effective transitions in life on our popular NLP Diploma programme.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

To find out more about Field Learning and what we do sign up to our monthly newsletter below:

How to get great at finishing what you started

John and Samantha Field — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:45:59 +0000

Successful people are not only great at starting things happening but are also great at finishing. Most people tend to fall into one camp or the other, i.e., they are either an ‘idea generator’ or a ‘completer-finisher’ and this tends to be an innate preference that we are born with. So what is the trick that successful starters and finishers know? How do they, not only, create new ideas but also think and focus differently to get things finished?

More than anything else, becoming a effective Finisher is about staying motivated from a project’s beginning to its end. Recent research has uncovered the reason why that can be so difficult, and a simple and effective strategy you can use to keep motivation high. In their studies, University of Chicago psychologists Minjung Koo and Ayelet Fishbach examined how people pursuing goals were affected by focusing on either how far they had already come (to-date thinking) or what was left to be accomplished (to-go thinking).

People routinely use both kinds of thinking to motivate themselves. A marathon runner may choose to think about the miles already traveled or the ones that lie ahead. A dieter who wants to lose 30 pounds may try to encourage themselves (especially when things get difficult) by reminding themselves of the 20 pounds already lost, or the 10 left to go. Intuitively, both approaches have their appeal. But too much to-date thinking, focusing on what you’ve accomplished so far, will actually undermine your motivation to finish rather than sustain it.

Koo and Fishbach’s studies consistently show that when we are pursuing a goal and consider how far we’ve already come, we feel a premature sense of accomplishment and begin to lose the energy we had at the start. For instance, in one study, college students studying for an exam in an important course were significantly more motivated to study after being told that they had 52% of the material left to cover, compared to being told that they had already completed 48%.

When we focus on progress made, we’re also more likely to start focussing on other goals and projects which now take up our time and attention. This is classic ‘Starter’ behaviour — lots of pots on the stove, but nothing is ever ready to eat. If, instead, we focus on how far we have left to go (to-go thinking), motivation is not only sustained, it’s heightened. Fundamentally, this has to do with the way our brains are wired. To-go thinking helps us tune in to the presence of a discrepancy between where we are now and where we want to be. When the human brain detects a discrepancy, it reacts by throwing resources at it: attention, time, money, effort, deeper processing of information, and willpower. In fact, it’s the discrepancy that signals that an action is needed — to-date thinking masks that signal. You might feel good about how far you have come but you might not get much further.

Great Finishers force themselves to stay focused on the goal, and never congratulate themselves on a job half-done. So what loose ends have you got to tie up? How will you truly finish what you started?

To find out more about your innate behavioural preferences and to create the life you want take a look at our NLP Diploma programme.

If you liked this post you might like:

Find out more about being a great finisher on our NLP Diploma programme.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

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Transition – Part 3: The Perception of Limited Choice

John and Samantha Field — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:20:32 +0000

In part 1 and 2 of this 4-part series we looked at values and beliefs that drive you and then procrastination. In this post we look at the false perception of limited choice.

As we enter a transition period of our lives we can find ourselves losing connection with the choices we have. Sometimes we can feel that we are so stuck in a rut that we only have two choices;

1) Stay in the rut or
2) Get out of the rut at all costs

Another way of putting it is ‘stay with what you know or leap in to uncertainty’. When faced with such a stark choice of course many stay stuck with what they know. Even though this choice may be damaging and harmful it is known and understood and has less fear associated with it. The inevitable consequence is that the initial rut deepens and, over time, life slips by and the rut becomes your life.

In previous parts of this series we’ve started to look at the problem of focussing on the past and what you don’t want rather than what you do want. We’ll look further at that aspect of transition in part 4 of this series. For now we’ll look at how you can open yourself to more choice than the stark ‘do or die’ dilemma. We’ll look at a number of ways of widening your perspective and some of the questions to ask yourself to help you get moving more constructively.

Do nothing

Doing nothing might be the choice you are making right now by default. One act is to take stock and decide deliberately to do nothing rather than resist the need to ‘have to’ do something. Rather than simply letting life happen to you, and feeling like a victim, you can make a conscious choice to accept what is and choose not to resist. We are not suggesting a defeatist approach, far from it, but rather a way of examining what is and putting a more useful frame on it.

Here’s one way to take stock. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the top left write ‘Pro’ and on the right write ‘Con’. Under the Pro heading spend some time writing down all the things you like, enjoy or appreciate about the current situation. Next spend some time writing down all the things that you don’t like or you wish were different about the current state.

Next it can be helpful to enrich your perspective. For each of the items on the Pro list ask the following questions:

How dependent am I on this?
If this wasn’t present how would life be different?
What value is being honoured by this? For example, ‘the current situation gives me financial freedom to pursue a creative hobby’; freedom and creativity being the values being honoured by the current situation.

For each Con ask the following questions:

How to I feel about this and would it be possible to just except this In my life and let go of the need to be any different? How would life be if I did that?
What value is not being honoured in this situation? How else might I be able to express this value in my life?
What can I learn from this situation?
If you step back from this situation and imagine watching it on a video tape what do you notice that you haven’t seen before? If it wasn’t you in the video tape what advice would you give?

Change the rut

It may be that you have many more options than you think in fact as coaches we know that’s true. The choice to leave everything as it is or change everything is usually far from the complete picture. Because the dilemma of only two choices can feel overwhelming then what can happen is stagnation. If you can make some changes (and you always can) then this cannot only improve the immediate situation but also free up your mind to consider other possibilities. A change of perspective can help and here’s a few questions that might help create a few more choices.

What one small tiny change could you make to improve things? How could you make it happen tomorrow?
What’s out of balance right now? What’s missing or what do you have too much of? How could you put a little more of what you do want in and take some (not all) of what you don’t want out?
What is a metaphor for your current situation? Is it like a roller-coaster, a car not firing on all cylinders, an orchestra without a conductor or something else? Taking this metaphor as your starting point what else do you notice? Why did you choose to get on this roller-coaster, what is the equivalent of a good car mechanic that will get the car running smoothly, what music is the orchestra playing and so on and so on?
Thinking of someone you admire how would they handle the current situation differently? What values and beliefs drive them and how are they different from yours or simply expressed in a different way? If you could get their advice what would they say to you?

That’s if for part 3 of this series. In part 4 we’ll be looking at the problem of focussing on the past when trying to transition to the future.

If you liked this post you might like:

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VIDEO – The Divided Brain

John and Samantha Field — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:49:32 +0000

Renowned psychiatrist and writer Iain McGilchrist explains how the ‘divided brain’ has profoundly altered human behaviour, culture and society (with the visual assistance of RSA Animate).

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NLP and Job Change

John and Samantha Field — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:47:39 +0000

We are experiencing a period of uncertainty where jobs are no longer as secure as they used to be and life-long careers with one company are now extremely rare. We are seeing an unprecedented number of people taking a long hard look at their working life and considering their options. At this time of transition many people have asked us how NLP can help with career change. We thought we’d put together a few notes to summarise these conversations. In particular we look at how our popular 4-day NLP Diploma could assist you in defining and finding the most rewarding and satisfying role.

What makes you tick?

In our NLP Diploma programme you’ll learn why you find some activities more rewarding than others. You’ll discover that everyone has an innate set of behavioural preferences that define:

What energises you
How you take information in
How you reach decisions and
How you prefer to interact with the external world

You’ll discover that everyone is subtlety different in their outlook on life and how your unique take on the world will lead you to find some occupations more rewarding than others. This is hugely useful information from a career point of view for 2 reasons:

You can make sure the next role fits your personal preferences. You are then more able and more likely to perform at your best and find the role more satisfying
For an existing role you may be able to adjust your work to suit your preferred way of working. You may have many options than you realised to make your existing work far more rewarding.

Appreciating Difference

Our NLP Diploma will provide you with a way of not only understanding your own personal preferences but also understanding how others differ from you. This can not only be fascinating in itself but also:

Reduce conflict and stress
Improve communication
Enable you to work to others’ strengths rather than become frustrated with their weaknesses
Enable you to be a better manager and leader
Build more effective teams
And much more…

Rapport Building

At the heart of successful interactions with others is the NLP concept of rapport. Learning to rapidly and effectively build rapport, or in NLP terms ‘step in to another persons map of the world’, is an extremely useful skill and NLP provides many pragmatic tools and concepts to do just that. This has many practical implications including:

Connecting with interviewers during the interviewing process
Building effective relationships with recruitment consultants
Engaging with new people in a new role
Being better able to communicate your needs and what works for you
Being more able to understand others and what works for them
Being better at communicating, influencing, managing and all the other areas of work that involve working with other people

Focus

A key frame of our NLP Diploma programme is how to build goals that truly motivate and create movement towards successful outcomes. I’m sure you’ve encountered goals or work ‘objectives’ that leave you cold and uninspired. The NLP concept called ‘Well-Formed Outcomes’ (WFO’s) enables you to create goals that truly fit your values, a sense of who you are (or who you want to become) and what you are really capable of. This means that you will be far more focused on developing a career that is satisfying and rewarding for you personally. It means that you will also be far more successful at achieving more challenging goals and helping others do the same.

Learning New Skills

NLP fundamentally derives from the question, “Why is it that some people are better at some things than others?” Or put another way “What is the difference that makes the difference?” Our NLP Diploma course will teach you a range of techniques for understanding the mental strategies of others that you can then use to improve your own skills and capabilities. Wouldn’t it be great going in to a new role knowing you have a whole bunch of pragmatic and common-sense tools for learning all the things to need to know in order to be successful?

Letting go of the past

What often holds people back is old patterns of behaviour or old beliefs and values that need updating. Unresolved relationships, decisions that you’re still beating yourself up about, values inherited from parents that no longer serve you and misunderstood intentions can all cause limiting behaviours. NLP offers a number of ways of making sense of and recoding past experiences. These can often be turned to empowering beliefs and values that can propel you forward in to a new role and future success. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to drop some of those limiting beliefs and forge ahead to create the life you truly want?

In summary

This is just a brief sample of the benefits of NLP from the perspective of career development. Please do feel free to ask questions as we are very happy to advise how NLP can help in all manner of contexts.

Do take a look at some of our video testimonials. They are unscripted views of how people really experienced learning NLP with Field Learning and the personal benefits achieved.

If you enjoyed this post you might also like:

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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Transition – Part 2: Procrastination

John and Samantha Field — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:45:01 +0000

In part 1 of this 4 part series we looked at how important it is to identify and follow your own values and beliefs through transitions in life. If you don’t then you can find yourself following someone else’s agenda which will ultimately lead to frustration.

In this post we look at procrastination, the causes of it and some suggestions on how to get moving. Skilled procrastinators have a real gift for finding reasons for not getting things done but essentially there are three major causes of procrastination and they are:

Cause 1: Moving past a threshold

Change often doesn’t happen until we reach a certain threshold, i.e., the pain, discomfort or unpleasantness that exists simple isn’t yet bad enough to make us take action. Of course this is understandable as it feels like it can take effort to change and the effort has to be worth it. There has to be enough of a gain to overcome the inertia. Unfortunately people can spend a lot of their lives waiting for that ‘last straw’ to be put on their back and in the meantime carrying a lot of straw around. Eventually a threshold is crossed and a change is made and frequently people can be heard saying, “I wish I had done that earlier!”

Solution: Do you have a nagging doubt in your mind that some aspect of your life needs to change? Perhaps you wish it had changed and you just wish you could get started. The suggestion is that you need to put the situation in to context so you can make yourself more aware of the costs of procrastination.

Here are a few questions to help:

For an area of your life that you want to change, how much time a day, on average, do you spend avoiding the issue, worrying about or planning to do something but never getting started? Now multiply this answer by 3650. This is the time you are likely to spend on this area of your life in the next 10 years. 10 minutes has now become 600 hours or 25 days. Do you really want to spend that much time like this in the next ten years?
How bad does it need to get before you make a change? Literally how bad would it be before you compelled to do something? Now imagine it’s a little bit worse than that. Really use your imagination and see, hear and feel what it would be like. What action would you take? What would be the first step you would take to doing something to turn the situation around? How does the effort to do something compare to the time you might spend on this area of your life in the next 10 years if you do nothing?

Cause 2: Not enough information or needing to have the complete and right plan

Of course it’s often desirable to wait until you have all the necessary information before jumping in to something. However the reality is that we can’t have 100% of all the information we would like. And of course bear in mind that making a start will immediately influence and change the most perfect plan.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

Solution: One solution is to chunk the project down so that you don’t have the psychological burden of committing to a huge undertaking that you can’t get your head round. A project like ‘Create a new business’ now becomes a manageable research project called ‘Talk to people who run their own business and find out how they got started’. You can now ask whether you have the information to make a start and actually make a start.

For a project or change that feels too overwhelming ask yourself, “What would be the first thing I would need to do?” Now treat that ‘first thing’ as a project in itself and ask do I have all the information I need to make a start? You know the next step. Still too big? Well break it down further until you have a manageable project that feels workable.

Another secret here is to ask yourself’ “What is it that I want to learn from this activity?” Setting a learning goal alongside your other goals can focus your mind, guide your progress and sometimes let you know the job is done. For example you may have already chunked-down the goal of ‘Start my own business’ to ‘Talk to people who run their own business and find out how they got started’. Now what might the learning goals be? Perhaps:

What common traits do people running their own business have?
When is the right time to start your own business?
How is running your own business different from working for someone else?
What business would suit me best?

Setting clear learning goals is often overlooked but is invaluable in all sorts of ways.

Cause 3: Focusing on the past rather than the future

Too often people focus on what they don’t want rather than what they want to happen. Of course if you focus on something, that’s usually what you get. If you focus on ‘not smoking’ then you will focus on the act of smoking. It’s far more helpful to focus on what life will be like when you have more cash in your pocket, can breath more easily and live a healthier and longer life.

In NLP terms do you focus on what you don’t want or what you do want? Are you an ‘Away from’ or ‘Towards’ person? An ‘away from’ attitude can be a major cause of procrastination and overall lack of progress. Being more focused on what you want isn’t the only answer but it is a much more useful start.

Solution: Focus on the future, not the past. When setting out to achieve or change something consider how you would like life to become. When you achieved your goal how will life be different? What will you see, what will you hear and how will you feel different?

What we’re beginning to describe here is what NLP calls a ‘Well-Formed Outcome’. For much more about this concept see the following posts:

In summary the solution to much procrastination is to:

Face the reality of the bigger picture
Chunk what you want to do down to a manageable size
Set clear learning goals to aid your progress
Take action and learn as you go
Focus on the future, not the past

In part 3 of this series we’ll be looking at the false perception of limited choice and how this gets in the way.

If you liked this post you might like:

Find out more about successfully navigating transitions on our NLP Diploma programme.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

To find out more about Field Learning and what we do sign up to our monthly newsletter below:

VIDEO – Choice

John and Samantha Field — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:31:23 +0000

We have more choice than ever in our lives. Professor Renata Saleci (with the visual assistance of RSA Animate) explores the nature of choice and the challenges it presents.

To talk to us call 01386 725 679 or use our contact form.

You’ll find more free information down the right-hand side of this page and you can also follow us on FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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